Tuesday, June 7, 2011


look at what you have done to her.
look at her dammit!!

shattered, broken little girl.

she loved you with everything that she had and that ceased to be enough for you.

and once you realised that it was her that you wanted. she had realised that the world lay out infront of her and she was intoxicated by the possibilities.
she wanted to learn
she wanted to laugh
she wanted to live
and sometime she wanted to love again...
and be loved in return.

and so she did.
she is happy now and though her mind may seek revenge her heart only wishes that some day you will find true happiness 2

Friday, April 29, 2011

lies and illusions

as i read the love letters of great men, Beethoven,Voltaire,Napolean..
inspiring words flow through my veins..

- such a silly insignificant thing in this day and age
and yet i find myself yearning for it..
that deep connection that only words can create.

yet so many small shattered pieces of my dull heart lay on this floor.
romance does not exsist.
love does not exsist.
-not in my world.
oh how i wish it did. I wish it could

but he ruined the chances of that.
he took my heart and ripped it apart right in front of my face and fed it to the wolves.
revealing the truth only made everythin seem like a lie.

no,romance,love-thats an old wives tale

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

_thats the way that you feel

i dont recognise your face no more..

things are so different now.

sometimes its hard.
why did u come home?

i dont know u

Friday, November 19, 2010

_lonely little,silly little girl

come home now.
she needs you here.
she doesnt know how to handle it without you
her mind is overlapping with thoughts as she swallows the lump in her throat holding back the tears.

she needs you!
how can you not feel her heart calling out to you? can you not hear it?

shes loves you dammit! its ime to come home now.

she cant do it without you
come back to her 

_lost and alone

i wish i could spill my brains across this screen.
it feels like the only way i could fully explain the emotional state i'm in.

oh how i love him.
yes i doubted it, but i know now i do love him.
when i'm alone and afraid he knows exactly what to say to make me feel safe again.
all i need is the:

baby its all gonna be okay

i have him. i know that. i know he's not going anywhere.

i am happy with him
i just wish that it was enough.
i want more.
i want my friends back.
we have all drifted from where we used to be.we used to laugh together, cry together,act ridiculous together.
and now?
i feel as if they dont even see me.
i wonder if they even care?
i want a person. someone i can tell all my secrets to.
i had that person, but she's consumed n her own life now.

i guess for now he will have to do.

i actually want him to be around forever.
need him around forever

Saturday, October 23, 2010

_embeded in my chest

maybe she was wrong
maybe he does love her
and just mabe he is kind of perfect

she cannot open up to him.
yet inside she knows that she is inlove with him

Thursday, October 21, 2010

_ i cant give it up, to someone else's touch

today is just one of those days
where you just let go and admit the truth.
the truth you have always known but were too afraid to admit.

i havnt posted anything in a while. i was uninspired. or maybe i was too cowardice to let my creativity flow. since i know i have much to say, however i would much rather prefer to keep it all inside.
inside is safe.
its harmless

i want to escape.like somewhere in the mointains where i can disconnect myself from modern society so a while. that would be nice. for lack of a better word.
somehwere where i can walk.

i want to walk so far that my feet start to bleed
with nothing but the sound of birds and wind.

yes that would be nice.

perchaps then i would find peace within.
perhaps then i could make sense of the chaos in my mind
perhaps then i could let go.