_embeded in my chest

maybe she was wrong

maybe he does love her

and just mabe he is kind of perfect

she cannot open up to him.

yet inside she knows that she is inlove with him



_ i cant give it up, to someone else's touch

today is just one of those days

where you just let go and admit the truth.

the truth you have always known but were too afraid to admit.

i havnt posted anything in a while. i was uninspired. or maybe i was too cowardice to let my creativity flow. since i know i have much to say, however i would much rather prefer to keep it all inside.

inside is safe.

its harmless

i want to escape.like somewhere in the mointains where i can disconnect myself from modern society so a while. that would be nice. for lack of a better word.

somehwere where i can walk.

i want to walk so far that my feet start to bleed

with nothing but the sound of birds and wind.

yes that would be nice.

perchaps then i would find peace within.

perhaps then i could make sense of the chaos in my mind

perhaps then i could let go.

i wish i knew how

_addicted

oh god.

why did i let it happen?

all the warning signs were there and yet i refused to listen.

i did that stupid thing where i tried to convince myself that everything was going to be alright

stupid ignorant naive little girl.

you have so much to learn

why do you do it?

so easily give your haert away,like its worthless

_nothing but a simple silly priceless page of sorrow.

completely worthless

and yet you persisted to believe that he would complete you?

silly girl

stupid little girl

you let him fill all the spaces of your hollow heart.

you let him take control

and now you feel nothing

numb.

no emotion.

none what so ever

do i love him?

do i?

oh god.

how i wish i new the answer to that question..

he says: i love you baby

i say it back..

but do i really mean it?

i know i would not be able to manage without him

somehow i feel safe,

i find shelter in the corners of his cold heart

searching for answers

i have lost hope.

i am falling

out of love

oh god.

mind alterting substances would statisfy me now.

i need distraction

all this thinking hurts

the emptiness scares me